Knitting Obsession: AITA For Asking My Girlfriend To Stop?

Hey guys, have you ever been in a situation where your partner's hobby starts to feel... overwhelming? Well, that's where I'm at right now. My girlfriend, let's call her Sarah, is absolutely obsessed with knitting. And look, I'm all for hobbies. I think it's great to have passions! But lately, it feels like knitting has taken over her life, and honestly, it's starting to bug me. So, I'm wondering, am I the a-hole (AITA) for asking her to maybe, just maybe, tone it down a bit?

The Yarn Avalanche: Understanding the Situation

So, let me paint you a picture. Sarah is a fantastic knitter. She makes these amazing scarves, hats, sweaters – you name it. And they're all beautifully done. Seriously, she's got skills. The problem is, she's constantly knitting. Like, all the time. During dinner, while we're watching TV, even when we're supposed to be, you know, talking. Her needles are always clicking. Her apartment has become a yarn paradise, with balls of wool in every color imaginable scattered around the place. The couch is covered in projects, the spare bedroom is essentially a yarn store, and the coffee table? Yep, yarn. I feel like I'm living in a craft store. It's like everywhere I look, there's more yarn! I’m not exaggerating when I say that her collection is worth more than my car! — Las Vegas UPS: Shipping, Tracking & Services Guide

I get that she loves it. It's her way of relaxing, of being creative. But it's also starting to feel like it's coming between us. We used to go out more, do things together. Now, it's often a struggle to get her away from her needles. I tried to be supportive at first. I even learned to identify some yarn types! I brought her snacks while she was knitting, I complimented her creations, and I wore the things she made for me with pride. But lately, the knitting has intensified. It's not just a hobby; it's a lifestyle, and it feels like I'm always competing for her attention. It's not just the amount of time she spends knitting. It's the way it has impacted our lifestyle. We used to enjoy long walks, going to the movies, and exploring new restaurants. Now, it’s hard to get her away from her yarn.

It’s also become a bit of a financial drain, too. Yarn isn’t cheap, folks! I've never said anything, but I worry about our finances! Maybe I should invest in a good quality pair of earplugs, so the constant clicking isn't so disruptive. The worst thing is that she often talks about the projects when we are out with our friends or with family. It is just knitting this, knitting that, and I am just tired of it! The thing that worries me the most is what happens to her eyes, as she constantly strains looking at the needles. And honestly, I feel like the person who should matter the most to her, is constantly being ignored.

The Conversation: How It Went Down

So, a couple of nights ago, I finally decided to say something. We were sitting on the couch, and she was, you guessed it, knitting. I took a deep breath and said, “Hey, Sarah, I love that you love knitting, but it feels like it's taking up a lot of your time. I miss spending quality time with you.” — Al-Nassr Vs Istiklol: AFC Champions League Showdown

Her reaction? Well, it wasn't great. She put down her needles and looked at me, a mixture of surprise and hurt on her face. She said something along the lines of, “Are you serious? Knitting is my passion. It makes me happy. You’re asking me to stop doing something I love?”

I tried to explain that I wasn’t asking her to stop completely, just maybe to find a balance. To knit less, so we could spend more time together. I suggested we schedule specific knitting time and allocate more time to our relationship. But she just seemed really upset. She felt like I was trying to control her or take away something that was important to her. She went on to say that she felt I was being unreasonable and that she felt I was being inconsiderate of her passion. She said she felt attacked and that I was overreacting. Things got a little heated, and we ended up going to bed without really resolving anything. I felt like I was walking on eggshells, and the whole conversation left me feeling really conflicted. After that, I felt so bad, I went to bed and pretended to be asleep.

The Core of the Issue: Is It Just the Knitting?

I've been thinking about this a lot, and I'm starting to wonder if the knitting is just a symptom of something else. Maybe it's about the quality of our time together, or maybe it’s about the feeling that I'm not as important to her as her hobby. Perhaps I haven't been the best at communicating my needs or making my feelings known. It's possible that I haven't been as supportive of her passion as I could have been. Have I become jealous of a ball of yarn? That is pretty ridiculous, if you ask me. It’s important to note that it's not necessarily the knitting itself that's the problem. It's the way it’s impacting our relationship. We both have busy lives, and I understand that everyone needs their own space and hobbies. But when a hobby starts to overshadow everything else, it can be a problem.

This situation has made me reflect on our relationship. Are we growing apart? Have we stopped making time for each other? Am I being selfish by wanting her to adjust her habits? I also realize that I might be partly to blame. Maybe I haven't been vocal enough about how I'm feeling. I should probably start trying to schedule more activities together, even if it means interrupting knitting time. I wonder if I should have framed my concerns differently. Instead of focusing on the knitting, perhaps I should have emphasized how much I miss her and want to spend more time together. — Today's Mashable Connections: Clues & Answers

The Verdict: Am I Really the A-hole?

So, AITA? Am I the bad guy for asking my girlfriend to cut back on her knitting? On the one hand, I understand that she loves it and it's important to her. Asking her to stop doing something she enjoys feels harsh. But on the other hand, it's affecting our relationship, and I think it’s fair to want to spend quality time with your partner. Is it selfish of me to ask her to make a small adjustment to her hobby for the sake of our relationship?

I genuinely don’t want to take away something that brings her joy. But I also don't want to feel like I'm constantly competing with a craft project for her attention. Maybe a compromise is the answer. Perhaps we can set aside specific knitting time, and schedule more dedicated time for us. I need to remember that relationships are about compromise and communication. I need to think of a better approach and try to talk to her again about how I feel. This time, I will try to be more considerate of her feelings, and hopefully we can find a solution that works for both of us. What do you guys think? Let me know in the comments! I'm open to any and all advice, because I'm truly lost here! This yarn situation is driving me crazy!